The Yogurt Fiasco
by thejellyfishmafia
Summary: Loki is living at Stark Tower, which turns out to be both a lot of fun and quite a catastrophe. Although most of it isn't his fault. This is basically some very random events that take place as Avengers Tower is slowly turned insane. I'm terrible at summaries. This is my first fic, so please R&R! Now complete!
1. How Much Yogurt?

**The Yogurt Fiasco**

Chapter One- How it Started

**A/N-** I have no idea what I was thinking. This story makes no sense. It also takes awhile to get to the actual yogurt part. Also, it might just be my odd sense of humor. And I torture Steve for longer than necessary. I think I am going to have a second chapter. This will eventually get a little Frostiron-ish. So, sorry, but they're my OTP. I won't be writing anything too… yeah. Still, rated T to be safe.

Steve was angry. Very, very angry. Which was quite unlike Steve. He was usually calm and collected. But this morning he had woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He had opened his closet to find 25 pairs of Crocs, Hello Kitty leotards, and Jonas brothers t-shirts. All of his clothes were missing, and he was forced to walk to the kitchen in his Captain America pajama pants and a very tight pink Nick Jonas shirt. Which were both equally humiliating, especially when he met Tasha in the elevator on the way to breakfast. She had laughed at him as he blushed furiously.

Steve stumbled out of the elevator, eager to be rid of Natasha, who was laughing like a hyena and trying to take a picture of him with her cell phone. Fuming, Steve walked into the large, modern kitchen. Being angry this early in the morning was making him hungry. Steve stalked over the fridge and threw it open to reveal…sardines. Hundreds of cans of sardines. Steve wrinkled his nose in disgust, crying out in frustration when he saw the troll face taped to the inside door of the fridge. "Problem?" It read. Steve walked over to his chair and sat down huffily. Suddenly the chair collapsed and Steve landed on his butt. He had had enough. "Loki!" Steve screamed in rage.

Meanwhile, Tony and Loki were dying, they were laughing so hard. Tony waved his hand and the 3D image of Steve in the kitchen disappeared. Loki had to lean against the table in Stark's workshop to keep from falling down, and Tony was finding it difficult to breathe. "Those were the most stupid practical jokes ever," Loki cackled. Tony had to admit Loki scared him when he was doing his evil laugh thing. "Yeah, but the look on Cap's face was worth it. Definitely." Loki nodded thoughtfully, and then frowned. "What the heck are we going to do with all of those sardines?"

A few months ago, Loki had appeared at Stark tower half-dead from Asgardian torture and apologizing. Tony had convinced Shield and the Avengers to let Loki stay with them at the Tower. He felt bad for Loki- the guy had been under mind control via the Chiataru and he also had daddy issues. Tony needed someone to bond with over mutual daddy issues. Plus, he had reasoned, Loki isn't really evil. He wasn't himself when he tried to take over earth. Mainly he was a prankster, nothing really cruel. Thor could vouch for that. Loki just liked to cause mischief. And, a confusing, long story later, he and Tony were the perfect team to create mischief.

They became best friends quickly. All this was much to the dismay of the other Avengers. There was nothing the two of them enjoyed more than magically giving Clint Legolas hair or reading Phil Coulson's old diary (in which he mainly obsessed over Steve) in front of everyone. Of course, the Avengers were ticked. But nobody was a better butt of a joke, and nobody was more ticked, than Steve. He was usually so chill, but if you got him real good he became very angry. And angry Steve was hilarious. But today, Loki and Tony had more up their sleeve than just annoying Steve.

They were going to do something involving all the Avengers. Something very fun and very worth their while. _It doesn't matter if Steve yells at them for hours again_, Tony thought, _because tonight is going to be awesome_.

Steve gave up. He went back to bed. When he woke up, all his clothes were back. One purple and orange tie-dye pair of Crocs were left over. All of the food was returned to the fridge. Steve opted for a bowl of cereal. Natasha apologized to him for laughing over a waffle, and Bruce smiled sympathetically when Tasha told him of Tony and Loki's little joke. Clint was asleep at the counter, and Thor was watching the movie Enchanted in the living room. It was oddly peaceful.

The troll face was gone. Instead, on the counter, was a picture of Loki and Tony that had been take a few months ago at Stark's birthday party. They had their arms around each other and were each smiling goofily. Loki's smile was more than a little evil. "Sorry, Steve!" Read the caption underneath. Steve shuddered. They were up to something. Definitely up to something.

"Tony." Silence. "_Tony." _Still, nothing. Tony snored loudly, and Loki rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't be tired yet, we're supposed to be up all night. Remember?" Tony snored again and grabbed Loki's shirt in his sleep. "Tony…" Loki didn't really want to wake his genius best friend. They had been planning their upcoming joke for almost an hour when Tony started to get sleepy.

Loki didn't blame him. Tony had been up last night until three, creating a concoction that would hopefully manage to get Steve drunk. That was the plan- to get all the Avengers drunk, have a party, play truth or dare (Which Tony insisted on) and make Jarvis get the whole thing on camera.

Right now, Loki was craving yogurt. Badly. "Wake up, Stark. Tony." Tony was curled up on Loki's lap. However that happened, Loki didn't know, but he didn't really mind. But… Loki needed to ask Tony something. Something very important. He shook the billionaire's shoulders and screamed, "Get up!" Tony jolted awake, then turned scarlet as he realized he was in Loki's lap. "Whaa…" "Do you have any yogurt?" Loki asked impatiently. "How… how much yogurt do you want?"

That evening, Bruce had to carry ten large buckets of strawberry yogurt all the way up to the kitchen. He was not amused.

"I think…I… Hey, am I drunk?" Bruce asked, puzzled. Of course he was drunk. The plan had worked. All the Avengers were drunk. Tasha was giggling and braiding Thor's hair, the latter of which was watching "The Little Mermaid" intently. Bruce kept tripping over his own feet to get another drink, and Steve was sitting cross-legged on the floor singing along to "Under the Sea." He didn't realize at all that he was slightly… intoxicated.

Loki and Tony were in hysterics, and almost died when Thor joined Steve in singing. Bruce tried to drink a banana and tripped over Clint. Clint was dancing, terribly. They had to admit, Steve was the most subdued of all of them. They were not expecting this. All of Steve's anger seemed to have melted away, and he was happily playing with a Captain America action figure.

Tasha finished braiding Thor's hair. It looked very lopsided. Thor clapped his hands in joy. Natasha scrunched up her nose and kicked Clint in the stomach. "Sssoooo….. m'bored….What are we gonna…going to… to…" She slurred, and Tony immediately jumped up. "Truth or dare!" He shouted, grinning stupidly. Loki had to wonder if Tony had gotten drunk as well. It was quite probable.

"Yesh.. Truth or dare…" Bruce shouted. The Avengers and Loki gathered in a sort of circle. Tasha sat in the middle before Clint shouted at her to move. She promptly started to cry and Bruce had to console her. Tony explained the game to Thor and Loki. Loki looked terrified. It was Steve's turn first. "Druth or tare, L- L-" He tried to remember Loki's name.

"Lauren!" Tasha supplied blithely, and pushed Bruce away. "Lauren-that's my brother's name!" Thor cried delightedly. Loki face palmed. "Dare." His voice was muffled through his hand. Tony giggled girlishly. Maybe he was drunk after all. "I dare you, Lauren…" Steve dragged out the N in Lauren. "To… have a yogurt battle with… me… and Claire." They all looked puzzled.

Thor pointed to Clint, who was currently trying to salsa dance with Natasha while sitting down. Clint looked up. "Yogurt battle? You're on, Lauren." Loki whimpered. "My yogurt…" Tony handed him a bottle of vodka. "Don't worry, princess, I'll get you more yogurt. Besides, you know the rules. You have to do it. It's a dare." Loki chugged down half the bottle, not responding to Tony. Tony, Thor and Bruce all did puppy eyes. "Fine! Fine, Claire! And Steve! I will beat you in this yogurt battle!" Loki screamed and opened up one of the huge cartons…

Tony sided with Loki, as did Tasha. "Claire" and Steve were on a team with Thor. They positioned themselves on either side of a balcony overlooking the kitchen, with five cartons of yogurt each. Tony shouted, "On your marks, get set, yogurt!" Loki started to fling spoonfuls of yogurt at Thor. Thor fell of the balcony and dented Tony's refrigerator.

Tasha shoved yogurt down Bruce's shirt and Tony dunked Clint's head in a bucket. They were all laughing, and as requested, Jarvis was recording. He silently sent for a cleaning crew to come in the next morning and called Pepper to come help them out. Tony chugged his drink and giggled at Steve, who was trying to shampoo Natasha's hair with yogurt. Suddenly, he fell off of the balcony and slammed into the kitchen floor. Everything went black.


	2. This Time, It's Blueberry

The Yogurt Fiasco

Chapter 2-This Time, It's Blueberry.

A/N- I am so sorry it took so long to post this. I had to finish all my homework before I could even start writing it. This one is a bit Tony-centric, but who doesn't love Tony? And, OMG, my reviewers, I love you all! *hugs* I was so happy when people seemed to like it. And I have followers! Squee! So here is the next chapter! Hope it's as good! Although, guh, half of it's more serious and stuffs. BTW- Should I make it Frostiron or keep everything friendly? Cuz it seems to me like things might be heading that way and I wanna know if you guys have any objections to that! I'm fine with just friends. :) Still T to be safe

After that big prank, resulting in a lot of cleaning up and headaches, Tony and Loki wordlessly decided to take a break. Calm things down, take a chill pill… basically they cut off all the practical jokes. None of the Avengers mentioned that night, and Tony told Jarvis to delete the footage. (Jarvis didn't.) He and Loki both avoided each other, and a gloomy little cloud seemed to hover over Stark Tower.

Mostly this was due to all the yelling that Pepper had done- apparently the cleaning people had gotten there early and leaked photos of the yogurty Avengers to the press- and she was not pleased. It was not fun for Tony to be yelled at by his ex. Again.

He and Pepper had broken it off because they both thought it was better being just friends, but the truth was Tony missed her. A lot. He felt like he had a cliché little hole inside his chest- ha, funny, he did have a hole in his chest- but at least that was filled with the arc reactor. His metaphorical empty space was driving him insane.

The rest of the Avengers were furious. Steve and Natasha weren't talking to Tony, Bruce was indifferent, and Fury almost fired him. Clint was sympathetic, saying it had been "sort of fun." Sympathy from Clint was not what Tony wanted. It was a little pathetic. All in all, it had not been a good week for Tony.

Loki, however, thought they were all overreacting. It was, in his opinion, a harmless prank that got a little crazy. He was still curious as to how exactly this "Truth or Dare" worked, and wanted to try it out. But if the Avengers were shunning Tony, They were practically unaware that Loki existed. When he walked into the room, everyone in it left.

Loki spent most of his time on his laptop, pouting. Honestly, big deal. A couple of photos go out. Big deal. It didn't mean that everyone, Thor included, could just ignore him. Even Tony- especially Tony- they all just- ugh. Loki was annoyed. And the worst part was, he was craving yogurt. Badly. Blueberry yogurt.

Tony decided to apologize. He called all the Avengers together for a meeting. They sat on the floor in the "Pillow Room" that had been added at Loki's request. It was literally a room full of pillows, and Tony had to admit, it was comfortable. But Loki was weird. Tony cleared his throat.

"So.. I, uh, I wanted to apologize for Monday night. I should not have gotten you guys drunk. Or let you have a yogurt fight. Although my team won." He paused, looking around at their faces. Yikes. Steve was glaring daggers. Bruce looked amused at his lack of eloquence. Thor and Tasha's faces were blank, but most likely for different reasons. It was likely that Thor was just bored. Clint was smiling.

"We forgive you," He chirped. Tasha raised one eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's fine, Tony. But could you maybe stop with all the pranks? I mean, you have for awhile, and that's great. And, I know your boyfriend is the god of mischief" "not my boyfriend!" Tony cut in. Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Bruce is right. No more pranks." Tasha smiled, which was scary. "We will forgive you for now."

Thor's stomach rumbled loudly. He blushed. "Right, dinnertime. Meeting adjourned. Thanks, guys," Tony yawned, incredibly relieved. Tasha, Thor, Clint and Bruce all walked out, stepping around all the pillows. Tony was about to leave, when he felt someone standing there. Slowly, he swiveled around. Steve was standing there glaring at him.

"Hey, no hard feelings, right, buddy?" Tony tried, but his voice wavered a bit. Steve was scary angry, not funny angry this time. Steve grunted and stalked out. Tony sighed. Thank god that was over. Wait. He was forgetting something. Something important. What could it be? They he spotted a big green pillow by the window. Oh, god. Loki. He was in trouble now.

"Hey there, Lokster," Tony appeared in Loki's doorway. Loki was playing a game on his laptop and didn't look up.

"I'm sorry I ignored you. It's not your fault. The other Avengers aren't mad either," He paused to take a breath, "So please come down for dinner. Clint made meatloaf… not that you have to eat it... I admit I'd be horrified if anyone did…"

Loki's lip involuntarily twitched up. Tony walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Watcha playin'?" Loki moved the screen towards him. "William and Sly. The second, actually. It's graphics are awesome and I love the music."

It was weird sometimes for Tony to hear Loki use slang and modern speech, or see him using technology. At first Loki had been awfully confused by everything, but that was temporary. Very temporary, so he was forced to buy Loki a laptop.

Watching Loki obsess over certain movies was hilarious, and so strange when Tony thought about Loki before, say, throwing him out of a window. Loki was actually a huge nerd. He freaked out whenever a commercial came on TV for The Hobbit, and Tony was taking him to see it on the fourteenth.

"Cool, I'll check it out later. So, you coming? Meatloaf…" This time, Loki cracked an actual smile.

"Sounds disgusting. But actually, I'm really hungry for something else. Um..."

Tony wrinkled his nose. "What? I wanna know, tell me!" He shook Loki's shoulders. Loki laughed and stood up. "You'll be mad…" Tony shook his head profusely.

"Fine. Yogurt. Blueberry yogurt." Tony's mouth fell open. "Yeah, I thought so. Never mind." Loki seemed dejected. Tony grinned. "How much yogurt?"

An hour later, Loki used magic to transport all the yogurt to his room. He promised not to bring it downstairs, but since he was the god of lies, he put one carton in the fridge. Just in case.

The Avengers and Loki, were sitting around a large table. Nobody touched Clint's meatloaf. It looked and smelled like a dead possum. They were all visibly relaxed save for Steve. Steve was basically sulking.

The rest chatted together like they hadn't in ages. Tony's blunt apology had seemed to work on everyone but Steve. Suddenly, Loki's head shot up.

"Let's finish our game!" Thor tilted his head to the side, looking more like a huge puppy than ever. "What game do you speak of, brother?" Tony pretended not to notice Loki flinch at Thor calling him "brother."

"Truth or Dare. We were going to play while highly intoxicated, but then…" Loki trailed off awkwardly.

"Yeah! Truth or dare, finally!" Tony shouted excitedly. Clint shrugged. "Why not?"

Tasha looked at him like he had antlers, or possibly Loki's helmet. "Because it is a primitive and childish game." "Hey, you seemed eager to play on Monday," Bruce chimed in. Steve stayed silent.

"Truth or dare it is, then." Loki smiled wickedly, and waved his hand. The uneaten meatloaf disappeared, and in its place ice cream sundaes materialized. "By the way, this is my apology for the yogurt…episode." Everyone seemed pretty content with that. Clint stuck out his lower lip, mumbling something about "not appreciated" and "perfectly good meatloaf." He hadn't eaten any himself. "Let's get started." Loki grinned evilly.

After Bruce had to sing "Call Me Maybe", Clint had to yodel loudly on the roof, Tasha had to kiss Steve and Bruce and tell who was better (Apparently Bruce) and Tony got dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow, it was Loki's turn.

And unlike those before him, he picked Truth. Tasha laughed. "Are we really going to trust him for Truth? He's the god of-"

"Yes. You are." Loki was defiant. "Fine. Loki, what are the two most embarrassing things you've ever done?" Bruce asked. "Booorrring." Clint faked a yawn.

"Seriously Bruce, that's like, 'Who do you have a crush on?' So fifth grade." "Like this entire game isn't," Tasha pointed out. Bruce shrugged. Loki bit his lip.

"Uhhh…. do I have to tell you?" "Yes, for those are the rules, brother! Where is your sense of honor?" Thor put in. "Fine. One time on Midgard, I had to get a job at Starbucks. Everyone there thought I was a girl. One guy started flirting with me. It was most.. degrading." Thor looked confused as to why that was embarrassing.

"You have disguised yourself as a girl before, brother. Like that time with the horse, Svaðilfari-" Loki turned scarlet. "Thor! I was not going to mention that!" Thor had the sense to look abashed. "Sorry," he mumbled. Everyone looked at Loki quizzically.

"And as for my second thing, There was this.. thin. With a horse. Subsequently, I am a mother. To Sleipnir. End of story." Loki scowled. "Sleipnir is an eight-legged horse," Thor supplied helpfully. The team's eyes were as big as saucers, and Steve's eyebrows almost shot off his head. Tony twirled a face Captain Jack dreadlock around his fingers.

"Wha- mother? Eight legged- wait, a horse? What?!" He sputtered. "Yeah, I'm a mother. And Sleipnir is a gorgeous creature, don't offend him!" Loki sniffed delicately. Tony guffawed.

"I guess… we don't really want to know." Bruce looked like he really didn't want to know. Tasha looked traumatized, and Clint was laughing along with Tony. Thor was doing his best not to laugh as well. Steve, meanwhile, was turning an unsightly green color. "Stop laughing at my son!" Loki snapped at Tony.

"Ok, sorry, Loks. Well. Good truth, Bruce." "See? It was good. Told you so, Clint." Bruce smugly folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, which fell on the floor. He brushed himself off, scowling, as Tasha giggled. "It was TMI. But whatever." Clint snickered. "Who's next? Steve!" Loki needed to get the attention off himself. "Truth or dare?" Steve wasn't going to choose truth now. "Dare," He mumbled.

"I dare you to eat a carton of yogurt." Everyone gasped. Loki must be crazy. Steve had promised never to look at yogurt again. "Fine. Give me the yogurt." Steve's answer surprised everyone. Clint snickered again. "That sounds menacing. Give me the yogurt, and no one gets hurt." Loki opened up the fridge and pulled out the carton. It was big. Steve gulped.

"Where's my spoon?" He tentatively inquired. "Nuh-uh, no spoons, you can lick it out." Loki smiled sweetly. He popped off the lid, licking the yogurt-covered top. Suddenly Steve stood up. "Never!" He cried, and flung the yogurt at Loki.

It missed him and hit Tony on the head. He looked to be wearing a very odd fez, balancing precariously atop his pirate hat. Everyone watched in horror as yogurt slowly dripped down over Tony's eye. He growled dangerously.

"Uh-oh," Clint said, hiding behind Tasha. She backed up warily.

"Loki. Get the rest of the yogurt down here. _Now._" Tony ordered. Loki didn't follow orders, but this sounded like fun. He grinned and snapped his fingers. All the cartons appeared without lids.

Tony picked one up and stared Steve down. "This is war." Bruce laughed, and grabbed a carton.

Clint, Loki and Thor followed suit, picking up a bucket and flinging yogurt at each other. Giggling and angry yells filled the air. "Wait, guys. Stop. This will not end well. Jarvis." Tasha started, but a glob blueberry yogurt smacked her face. "Why you-" She grabbed a bucket of her own and turned to Clint. Thus, chaos ensued. Jarvis wisely called Pepper.

"One sec, Jess, I gotta take this." Pepper picked up her phone as her cousin nodded. "Tony? What's going on?" Jarvis's calm voice replied. "Actually, Miss Potts, I called you to inform you that Tony and his colleagues are again having a battle with yogurt."

"Again?!" Pepper shrieked, making Jess jump. For an AI, Jarvis sounded very amused. "Well. Not exactly. This time, it's blueberry."

A/N again- Sorry it took so long to upload! :D I hope you liked. :) Sorry I made Steve such a spoil-sport! I actually really love Steve! I promise I will make him nicer! But if you woke up every morning to Crocs and Nick Jonas shirts… well. Anyway, please review! Thanks bunches! :D Oh! Oh! And look up William and Sly (the second is better in my opinion) Best games ever!


	3. This Should Be Fun

The Yogurt Fiasco

Chapter 3-This Should Be Fun

A/N- Stupid chapter name, I know. AND I am sooo sorry for taking sooo long to update! I was going to on Saturday, but then my friend was all, "Let's go to the mall!" And, of course, we wound up at Target, where I got these little Avenger guys! They're like... Avengers mini muggs. On the box it says "Earth's miniest heroes." :D Yeah, I'm exited about that. Actually Target only had three, so I got Nick Fury, Hawkeye, and Thor. They are adorable and I hope to collect them all... but they don't have Loki! :'( Oh my gods, I'm rambling. Again. *sigh* Let's get to the point... Ooh, disclaimer! I forgot about those guys! K-

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or the Avengers. *Insert clever quip here about what I would do if I did*

Enjoy! Warning- this chapter is stupid. But. Haven't they all been?

Oh boy. Pepper had not been happy when she burst into Stark Tower and found the Avengers covered in yogurt. Again. Loki was licking yogurt off Tony's face, which was quite hilarious, ergo Clint was doubled over laughing while Tasha flung yogurt at his head. Thor and Bruce were locked in an epic yogurt battle, trying to pick up the purple mess and throw it at each other. Steve cowered in the corner, using a yogurt lid as a shield. When Pepper walked in, they all froze.

Pepper looked pretty furious. "What did I tell you last time? When will you all grow u-" Suddenly, Natasha tripped Clint, who went flying headfirst into a large yogurt puddle. It splashed up onto Pepper's blouse. If possible, the room got even more silent. Loki silently made crickets appear, for effect.

Tony laughed and Pepper silenced him with a withering stopped with the crickets.

"This is it. No more yogurt for you. Any of you! Jarvis, do not allow any shipments of yogurt to arrive," She seethed.

"Yes, Miss Potts," Jarvis primly cut in. If Tony didn't know better, he would've thought there was a slight smugness in Jarvis's voice. Could Jarvis really pick up inflections and emotions that well? Honestly, Tony wasn't surprised. He mentally patted himself on the back. His machine was awesome, even if it was a huge tattletale.

"And no more yogurt from the grocery store, either. I don't want to hear about another yogurt fiasco again." Loki looked devastated. He suddenly cried out in… pain? Wow. Tony had no idea Loki liked yogurt that much. Then he realized he was stepping on the god's foot. Hard.

"Sorry," Tony mumbled, to Loki and Pepper. Loki nodded and sniffed loudly.

"I expected this from the rest of you, honestly," Pepper continued, "But Tasha? Seriously?" Tasha shrugged nonchalantly.

"He started it." She pointed at Clint. Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Did not!"Clint put on his best "You hurt my soul I need a band-aid" face.

"Did too."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Did too!" She shouted.

Bruce glared at the both of them. "Shut up!" He roared. Uh-oh. Steve burst into tears.

"Stop yelling!" He sobbed. Pepper was aghast. Clint and Tasha wouldn't stop arguing. By now Steve was bawling, Bruce was turning green, and Loki was full-scale pouting. Apparently, Tony found this amusing, as he was taking pictures with his phone.

"Quit being so childish!" Pepper screamed, her voice hoarse. "I'm sick and tired of watching over you all! I'm not your babysitter!"She screamed hoarsely. Oh god, now Tony felt bad. Really bad.

"Pep, I am so sorry," He started. Pepper sniffed and looked up, checking to make sure he was sincere.

"Really. We're all sorry." Each of the Avengers nodded, feeling equally sorry for Pepper. She must have been really stressed- none of them had ever seen her break down or explode so much since- well, since Loki came. The god shifted his weight from one foot to another awkwardly.

"I'm really sorry, Pepper. It was really all my fault." Pepper smiled weakly.

"And I'm sorry for getting all dramatic on you guys." "It's fine," Tony reassured her.

"Well, I'm going back to my apartment. See you all." She left, and Tony slumped down to the floor. He was suddenly exhausted. Well, this has been an emotional day, he thought, and promptly fell asleep.

"So, whatcha wanna do?" Clint was sprawled out on the floor. All of them had agreed that yesterday's events were none of their faults, and were getting along swimmingly. Even Steve. Right now, they were in the den on Bruce's floor. It was a large room with many couches and a huge flatscreen TV. Clint felt right at home.

"Let's play a game!" Thor boomed. Clint smirked. "What game do you suggest?" Loki picked at a thread on his sweater.

"We could play House," He suggested sarcastically. "Cool!" Clint sprang up."I used to love house!"

"It's official, then," Loki said dryly as Bruce snickered. "We're playing House."

"Yes!" Clint cheered. He proceeded to dole out roles to everybody. "I'm the dad. Tasha's the, er, mom, if you don't mind, Nat," Tasha rolled her eyes. Clint continued to point at each of them.

"Tony, you're the teenage son, Loki is the little sister, Bruce is the baby and Thor is the dog," He finished triumphantly.

"Sister? Why should I be the sister?!" Loki cried indignantly. "Because you look like a girl," Clint offered helpfully. Loki fumed. Tony quickly put an arm around Loki's shoulder.

"That's okay, Bruce can be the sister. Loki will be my annoying girlfriend." Loki rolled his eyes but did not protest. Bruce grunted. "I shall be a loyal golden retriever, a devout friend to all mankind!" Thor sang and knelt down on all fours.

"What about me?" Steve pointed out. "You are…Aunt Gladys." Steve blinked. "Cool… Okay, what now?" Tony looked expectantly at Clint.

He opened his mouth to say something when Director Fury's voice cut in from…well, wherever Jarvis was. Clint didn't really know.

"Avengers!" He sounded irritated. "And Loki," Tony mumbled. "And the idiot god," Fury continued, "We are having a slight problem at the nearest supermarket. Apparently a large gang of…things are threatening people there and stealing food. We need you to defeat them and save everybody there."

"Can't the normal police do that?" Steve asked, clearly baffled. "Well, yes, but you need to be seen doing something. You guys haven't…done anything in a while." "So, a publicity stunt," Bruce supplied. "Technically, yes. So don't worry about anything." "I love publicity stunts," Tony sang.

"Just get your lazy butts over here," Fury sighed, exasperated. "Will do, Sir," Tony mock saluted and ran down the hall, the other Avengers heading their separate ways to suit up. "Jarvis, hook me up." The supermarket. Huh. Interesting.

"That was simple," Steve remarked. Tony decided to count the times he stated the obvious today. It was true, they had easily captured the gang and saved the general public. They'd done some autographs, kissed a baby (Steve) and were now walking to Tony's favorite shawarma place.

One of the people they'd saved was a young girl who was apparently Loki's biggest fan. She had gushed and swooned and taken about a million pictures. Tony swore Loki's head barely fit through the door as they left the supermarket. Wait, where was Loki anyway? He had been walking right next to Steve, and then- Tony craned his neck around. There was Steve, and Tasha…Bruce was talking to Thor and Clint was ahead of him, but where was Loki? Tony swore and turned around. Thor noticed, and cocked his head to the side.

He really did look like a golden retriever, Tony noted, what with the puppy eyes and innocent expressions. It was hilarious when Loki imitated that- "Loki," Tony explained, "I'll catch up with you later." Thor nodded. "I hope that you find my brother in good health!" He called, but kept walking. Tony rolled his eyes and walked faster.

Oh my god. This was hilarious. Tony had just walked into the store and there he was, Tony's residential god of chaos- buying a small carton of Greek Yogurt. He looked up when Tony walked in, and halted. Loki looked like a deer in the headlights. His expression screamed, _Busted_! "Oops," Loki managed. Tony laughed, grabbing Loki's elbow. "You can eat that while we walk. The others are waiting." Tony pulled a blushing Loki out of the store. The cashier, a sixteen year old boy named Jules, fainted along with the rest of the women in line.

"So you're not mad at me?" By now, Tony had to walk quickly to keep up with Loki and his long legs.

"No. I really don't blame you, yogurt is good. And Pepper is stressed lately, she didn't mean that seriously." Tony hoped not. Loki smiled evilly and licked yogurt off of his lips. _Tease_.

"Good." Loki visibly relaxed and laughed at Tony, who was struggling to catch up. He grabbed Tony's hand with the one not occupied by a yogurt cup and practically dragged him down the street. "Now we can finish our game of House," He remarked.

Tony grinned. "Yeah, where Tasha is married to Clint." Loki chuckled. "Hm, what do you say we put our mad matchmaking skills to the test?" "Hah. yes. Definitely. Shawarma is so romantic. Oh yeah, you're my girlfriend, right?" Loki scoffed, but he was smiling. "You wish." Tony laughed. Well, this should be fun.

"No. No no no no no. We are not playing spin the bottle!" Tasha screamed and jumped up from the couch. They had gotten takeout shawarma- Tony hadn't even known there was such a thing- and were now back at Avengers Tower. "Why not?" Clint pouted. "I'm the only girl!" Tasha whined. "Sooo...?" Loki asked. Tasha blinked, then laughed. "Oh, totally. Yeah. I get to watch you all make out. Well, lucky me, I'm the only girl. This should be fun." "Uh-oh." The rest of them looked a little scared. "What is spin the bottle?" Thor sounded confused. Tasha smiled wickedly. Thor then said the smartest thing he ever would- "This is going to be worse than truth-or-dare, isn't it?"


	4. May Insanity Commence!

The Yogurt Fiasco

Chapter 4-May Insanity Commence!

A/N- OK, so, I deleted my other Chapter Four because it was stupid. I wrote it at like…5 in the morning and I think I might have been high on yogurt, lol…So this is hopefully going to be better. I'm going to put Phil in there, too. Because Phil rocks. :3 Also, this is sort of not from anyone's point of view. It's confusing that way. But sometimes Clint is thinking things. And Clint, with his limited vocabulary, is not the best at describing…anything. So I think you can tell when Clint is thinking.

"I don't get it," Thor whined. They had all explained to him what "Spin the Bottle" was, and he still did not fully comprehend. "I could wind up kissing my brother," He complained. Loki raised an eyebrow.

"_Thor_, that would not be the first time-"

"What?!" Tony cut in. Tasha started laughing. She did that a lot, actually. At first it was a little scary, but they got used to it. Well. Sometimes Clint still got a little scared.

"One time, many, many, many, many years ago-" Loki started to explain, but this time Thor cut him off. Really, everybody kept interrupting Loki. It was not entirely fair. Everybody interrupted _him_. Nobody ever interrupted Bruce. However, Loki reasoned, Bruce seldom spoke, so when he did it was usually important, therefore they would all listen. Like that one time when Steve tried to microwave his pancakes, and Bruce had gotten them to evacuate... Loki shuddered.

"Can we actually not talk about that experience?" Thor was blushing. "It was rather embarrassing."

"Uh-huh, sure. Embarrassing. You know, you started it…" Loki smirked. Tony was tilting his head to the side in confusion so much that it looked like it would fall off any moment.

Tasha wouldn't stop laughing maniacally. This should have concerned Clint, at least, but he was busy up in the rafters pretending to be an eagle. Which was odd, really he should've been pretending to be a hawk. He had completely forgotten that his name was "Hawkeye" and not "Eagle Man." But, he thought, Eagle Man sounded kinda cool.

"Yeah, I'm Eagle Man," he whispered to himself. "I can soar through the sky. Woosh, woosh-" The door burst open, so suddenly that Bruce jumped, Steve yelped, and "Eagle Man" fell off his perch and into Loki's lap.

"Ew," Loki said girlishly, and pushed him off. The rest were all staring at the man in the doorway.

"Agent Agent?" Tony asked incredulously.

"Coulson?!" Steve squealed.

"Hi." Phil meekly stepped into the room and was immediately bombarded with hugs by all of the Avengers. Loki hung back awkwardly. He had, after all, killed the guy. He had no idea how to go about greeting him.

Clint stopped hugging Phil and pouted because evidently "Spin the Bottle" had been forgotten. This would've been his only chance to kiss Tasha. Otherwise she would slap at him. He stared wistfully at Tasha, who was shouting"Phil!" through her laughter and struggling to stand up.

Phil was turning rather white. Apparently Steve and Thor's hugs were rather crushing. Actually, they all knew this from experience.

"Guys, you're strangling him," Bruce pointed out.

"Oh. Right. Sorry there, buddy," Steve awkwardly let go, Thor following suit.

"No problem!" Phil gasped for air, his face returning to its normal color. It was kind of a peach-ish color, like peach flavored things, Clint thought. He frowned. Where was his train of thought today?

"Woah!" Suddenly, Phil's face turned white again. Kind of like…white flavored things? No. Vanilla. Right!

Agent Coulson stared at Loki. Clint was immediately confused. Did Loki have something stuck between his teeth or something? Why was Coulson…Oh. It seemed to hit all of the Avengers at once.

"Why- Why is he here?! Wearing skinny jeans and a Pikachu sweatshirt?!" Phil managed.

"I live here," Loki offered lamely.

"What?!" Phil literally, thank god...

"Woah! Ok, don't faint on us, you probably just got back from the hospital." Tony took control, handing Phil to Steve who made sure he didn't fall. "Loki…well, this isn't the same guy who killed you and destroyed New York. He was being controlled by the Chihuahuas."

Loki didn't bother to correct him. Chihuahuas sounded cooler. "I'm sorry I killed you. I didn't mean to." Loki whispered.

"I- uh, I…" Phil stuttered.

"Hug and make up!" Thor declared loudly, pushing the two together. Clint started cheering, and Bruce nodded. Steve and Tony shrugged simultaneously.

Tasha really couldn't do anything. She had collapsed on the ground and was convulsing in laughter. Poor Tasha.

Loki stepped forward and hesitantly hugged the traumatized agent. After a moment, he hugged him back. Clint and Thor hi-fived.

"Did you know, hugs that last over 20 seconds release a chemical called 'Oxytocin' that makes you trust someone more?!" Bruce chirped. Everyone (Again, besides Tasha) stared at him. Loki let go of Phil.

"Thanks for that, Science Boy…" Tony said slowly. Loki and Phil laughed. Bruce muttered something like

"Tony's one to talk, created an element, fancy science suit…" and retreated to pout in the corner. Thor, who was humming "So What" by Pink, looked up.

"Can I go get a Pop-Tart?"Of course. He was hungry. They had literally just gotten shawarma...

"Yeah, everyone can leave, meeting adjourned." Tony waved his hand. Thor departed to go eat, Steve and Clint to go get Phil's trading cards signed. Bruce ran right down to his "Secret Lab", and Clint decided to go play Lego Harry Potter.

Tasha, who had stopped laughing when Bruce shouted his Fun Fact About Hugs, left silently to go punch her inflatable Iron Man punching bag. Tony fell asleep on the couch, and Loki went up to his bedroom and updated his Facebook status. Everything at Stark Tower had a tendency to calm down just as quickly as it got weird.

Later that evening, Loki lying on his bed was staring at his Legolas poster and daydreaming. He was listening to Evanescence and had been trying to crochet.

This had been quite relaxing until he'd realized that he had crocheted a pair of pants. Wincing at this fashion monstrosity, and at the fact that they were fuchsia and orange, Loki had shoved them under the bed.

_Bam!_ His door flung open. There stood Tasha. Her eyes were red and it was obvious that she had been crying. Loki couldn't tell if this was an improvement from her earlier incessant guffaws. Tasha sniffed and Loki realized she was still standing at the door. He quickly gestured for her to come in.

"C'mere, what's wrong?" Tasha crawled onto the bed next to Loki and sniffed again.

"Clint." She sobbed.

"What did he do?" Loki was concerned for his friend. Usually she was rather tough. Tasha just shook her head.

"Nothing. That's just it, it's like I don't exist, he-" Loki put his hand on Tasha's shoulder sympathetically. Obviously this was a bad day for Natasha. Clint never payed attention to anything.

"Wanna eat ice cream and watch _Mean Girls?_" He asked softly. Tasha nodded.

"Jarvis, send Tony up with ice cream. Peppermint. If he can find any," He commanded.

"Right away, Mr. Odinson."

Loki smiled. "It'll be okay, Tasha." She nodded wearily. Tony came bursting in moments later with the ice cream.

"Special delivery- hey Tasha, you okay?" He set down two buckets of peppermint. Tasha picked up a spoon from Loki's spoon collection and started devouring the ice cream.

"Rough day," Loki supplied. Tony nodded, and sat down on Loki's bed uninvited.

"If you two are having a slumber party, I want in. Mean Girls is an awesome movie."

Loki shook his head."No can do. Girls only."

Tony scrunched up his nose."You're not a girl."

"I don't count," Loki argued, as the movie previews started playing. "You're straight, you leave." He pointed to the door. Tony pouted.

"I'm not completely-" Loki cut him off by temporarily shapeshifting into a girl.

"Happy? Leave."

Tony stuck out his tongue at Loki and left. Loki turned back into a boy (Phew) and grabbed the remote. "Let's skip these previews..." "No." Tasha shouted. "The next preview is for Pirates of the Caribbean." "Orlando!" Loki shouted, dropping the remote like it had burned him. They giggled and stared at the screen.

"I'm a bird. Eagle Man. Woosh, woosh…" Tony heard from above him as he walked to the kitchen. He shook his head, not bothering to look up at Clint.

He had a mission. Tony was going to find Thor, Steve, and Phil, and they were going to watch Tangled. So there.

He walked up to Steve's room. Phil and Steve were sprawled out on the couch, already watching the movie Mulan. Darn. Deciding not to disturb them, Tony dejectedly headed back downstairs.

He passed Loki's room again, and the door opened suddenly. Before he had time to register what was happening, a hand yanked him inside and pulled him onto the bed beside Loki. Tony grinned. "Yay, I can watch-" Loki put his hand over Tony's mouth. "No talking during Mean Girls." Tony happily complied.


	5. Spin The Bottle

The Yogurt Fiasco

Chapter Five- Spin The Bottle

A/N- Yeah, so, um, I kinda deserted you guys. *hides under desk* Sorry! In all honesty I kind of lost enthusiasm for this fic… also the plotbunnies ran away. Or the not-quite-plot bunnies, since this never had a plot anyway This will definitely be the last chapter, but I'll be posting a new story soon. Which will be Sherlock and also void of a plot… sigh. Also, this does not contain any slash pairings, but there is Spin the Bottle. There really isn't any slash, they're all just friends, but is a completely heterosexual Spin the Bottle even possible? And with only one girl…? Tasha would have all the fun Also, a warning- this is really, really short.

Disclaimer- I don't own the Avengers…

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"Guys." The Avengers had crashed in the Pillow room after a long day of laser tag. Some of them were asleep, some of them were just chilling or texting, and Clint was again up in the rafters. Being "Eagle Man."

The only sound was Thor's snoring, Tasha's texting and the occasional whisper of " Woosh, woosh" from up above. All in all, it was a fairly normal occurrence. Loki was fast asleep, muttering about race cars, Bruce was dreaming about smashing things and Steve was having an emotional flashback. Agent Coulson was trying to comfort him, which seemed to be working, although Steve sniffled every so often. It was, for the Avengers, calm. But Tony, being the crazed genius he was, was bored. So he decided to play a game.

"Guys!" He shouted, startling Bruce, Thor and Loki awake. Clint fell into Loki's lap again. Tasha looked up from Twitter, annoyed. "Get off of me, Eagle Man!" Loki snapped. Tasha pulled Clint off of Loki and sat him down next to her.

Steve rubbed his eyes. "What is it, Tony?" he said politely.

"We never got to finish our game!" Tony shouted excitedly. "What game?" Bruce asked groggily. He looked slightly miffed at being woken, but thankfully was not turning green or growing gargantuan muscles. "Spin the Bottle!" Tony chirped. Everyone looked at each other and shrugged.

"Reasonable…er, reason, for waking us up. I guess," Clint intoned in his usual eloquent manner. "Let's play!" Loki shouted. Coulson scratched his head. "I think I'll sit this one out, guys." Nobody protested, Steve noticed. Poor Phil. The Avengers and Loki formed a circle- some sleepily, some enthusiastically, and Tony took out an entire, whole bottle of vodka. It had been underneath a Pikachu pillow. Nobody questioned this. Thor's turn was first. He spun, and the bottle landed on…Loki. Surprisingly, the two shrugged simultaneously, albeit reluctantly. Laughing, Tasha pushed the two together. Their lips crashed together for a total of two seconds before they pulled away calmly. Clearly they had done this before, but under what circumstances Tony was afraid to ask.

"Well, that was weird. Next!" Clint yelled. It was Steve's turn. He turned red, but spun anyway. It landed on Tasha. Steve breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God he got to kiss a girl. Clint frowned, doubly so when he noticed Tasha's smirk. Steve tentatively stepped forward, brushing his lips against Tasha's. She decided to be nice and not kiss him thoroughly in front of Clint. Because she was nice sometimes, and Clint was her boyfriend, even though Steve was very hot. But then again, he was always nice and that was boring.

Next, Bruce had to kiss Thor, which was one of the most disturbing things Clint had ever seen because it was so incredibly awkward. Tasha had to kiss Thor, which she did so a little less politely than with Steve. Clint pouted. The rest of the Avengers were quite enjoying themselves, even Coulson who was watching from the corner. Tony wondered why the bottle hadn't landed on him yet.

"Tony! Your turn!" The still-full Vodka bottle was thrust into his hands by Bruce. He spun, and after three spins of suspense it pointed to Loki. Loki raised an eyebrow. Tony winked jokingly. Everybody snickered. "Well, Princess?" Tony crossed his arms, staying in his seat. Loki sniffed, turning his nose up. "I'll pass," he replied snootily. Tony raised both of his eyebrows.

"Oooh, _burn_!" Clint exclaimed. Loki grinned. "Kidding." He said, and swiftly crossed the room to sit more or less in Tony's lap. Tony leaned in, and was about to kiss Loki, when he felt a feather-light pressure on his lips. It was gone just as quickly as it came, and Loki was back to his spot in an instant. Everyone laughed as Tony fell frowned, rubbing his hurt nose. Tony stuck his tongue out at Loki, evoking more laughter from Tasha. _Did that girl ever stop laughing?_

"My turn…" Clint picked up the bottle. It landed on Steve. "Oh my." Bruce stated quietly. Tasha nodded, biting her lip. All the color had drained out of Steve's face. Clint darted forward, pecking him on the cheek. Steve sighed in relief, his face flushing back to its natural tan. Clint was pretty sure he heard Steve mutter something along the lines of, "Thank you O Merciful Eagle Man," but he couldn't be sure. Tasha gave him a high-five as he sat back on. Clint felt very heroic, like he had just saved Steve from being kissed by a giant slug. Loki rolled his eyes, and, as it was his turn, spun the bottle.

It landed on Bruce, and Bruce's spin landed on Tony, and so on. Everyone was having fun, if not being a little grossed out. The expressions on Loki and Thor's faces when they'd had to kiss again were priceless, and Jarvis snapped a few pictures unbeknownst to the childish superheroes below. Phil had left quite some time ago on a boring mission to find Advil in Tony's cupboard. The house was void of yogurt, everyone was getting along swimmingly, and they got to see Steve's face turn Christmas colors every time the bottle of vodka pointed to him. Yes, all was well.

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A/N- The End! Sorry that was so very short :( I hope y'all liked my first fanfic ever though...I will definitely write more in the future, and definitely update sooner. Thank you so much for reviews and follows and such! I love all of you, you wonderful people! :D


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